I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I keep getting congratulated for drinking 2 six packs of mikes hard and winning the Olympic marathon and I don't remember this shit and now my throat is on fire
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
He made me spaghetti, gave me wine and I fucked him on the floor, Is that a fair trade of services to you?
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