oh god the rape fog is back!
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
Randomize
