Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
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