I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
She said cowgirls can can pee standing up and proceeded to pull up her dress and drop her underwear.
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