He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
no seriously, she's legit pissed i'm late to lunch because i was watching full house. there's obviously no future here.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
false alarm, still single
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
