i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
