Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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