Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
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