Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
there r dinosaurs outside my house i hear them
pretty sure those are just snow plows....go back to bed
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
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