I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
I didnt realize until i got your email that what i've been missing in my life is someone to send me dog gifs
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
you dont know your limits until you wake up with a black eye and a bruised rib and find out you got ran over by a bicycle last night
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Randomize
