Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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