Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
Bro i just made a pipe out of a mechanical pencil and the top to an eye drop bottle. Does that make me some kind of pot god?
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