I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
he said he was going grocery shopping but when he came back all he had was a jumbo bag of pancake mix and case of beer.
the essentials, lol
So much Jack, so little girl.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
