I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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