Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
All I want is dick and wine.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
