As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
