Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
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