Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
Randomize
