You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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