She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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