When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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