Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
the problem is i have six tabs of acid in my freezer and no self control
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
