physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Randomize
