I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
Did you wake up with "jello shots" stamped on your hand too?
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Btw I definitely had pizza sauce on my face, a painful hickey on my neck, and I just remember screaming SISTER WIVES because of the girl's 1997 jean skirt! Wow.
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