It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
