physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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