i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
