my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Randomize
