he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Next time, showing us his dick should be his entry fee into your house.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I am available for nakedness
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
