is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
