I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
If your 8 lb baby was ham it would serve 6-8 people
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
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