Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
Randomize
