yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
Randomize
