so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
