I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
