So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
