he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
