Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
I think people are normalizing furries
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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