guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
