i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
I walked into the living room this morning and he was there with 3 shots in a row. He said it was "tea time."
was his pinky out?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
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