dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
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