By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
The difference between you and me last night was that I didn't remember getting into the cab and you didnt know we were in one.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
