he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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