this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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