I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
