tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
Randomize
