Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
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