New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
