talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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