Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
I currently don't understand fingers.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
Randomize
