My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
