but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
