i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Dude. She told me she felt bad for not giving me more blojobs. HOW COULD THAT HAVE GONE BETTER?
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
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