Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just gave my liver a good luck and I'm sorry speech
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
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