That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
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