i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
You are beautiful! I got thrown out of a bar tonight for throwing my shoe. It was at my sister, I don't know why they were mad. I know her.
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Randomize