I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
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