Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
