I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Randomize
