I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize