Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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