Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
And then he said he wanted to "get really weird with me on my horse." I took that as he wants to fuck me while riding my horse. Could be a good time.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
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