I want to have your abortion
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
Woke up with an epic boner today, the kind where you can spin books and shit on it. FYI: don't try spinning an encyclopedia
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
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