I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
my co-worker, his best friend who also works with us, an my baby daddy, ive turned love triangle into a retarded shape with to many sides to pronounce
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
