why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
Randomize
