I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
It was like getting head from an anaconda
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
welp, we watched the human centipede high last night and my mind literally shut down, when i came to all i could hear was mel saying EAT EAT HIS SHIT
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