Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
