Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
No joke, I just found $85 on the ground. Must be because I bought you all that liquor. So much good karma.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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